Motherhood the Beginning of the Most Beautiful Chapter in a Female’s Life
Written By: Aimee Cruz and Bosky Singh.
Parenting and Mothering, more specifically, is a first-hand experience in which no book or series of texts can prepare you for. Yeah! I mean, sure, you can get ideas and inspirations from time to time from Mom Bloggers but nothing in the world will prepare you for it. It’s a job where you must learn to trust yourself and your partner and often base efforts on the trusty trial and error method.
I once read in a parenting book …’ I was a good parent until I became one’ and I couldn’t have agreed more. You find yourself caught in moments of “How do I deal with this?” and “I should be doing XYZ better.” Or “Is it normal to do this.” Just repeat to Yourself, I am safe, my family is safe, and we are always working to be better. Do your research, call someone you trust, or a professional, but sometimes just deep breaths and trial and error is the Best Course. Get quiet enough and listen to yourself and those who care about you.
We all have rather big notions about parenting before we become a Mommy. We hope we will be one of those Mommy’s who does not have a hair out of place, who has a spick and span house (even though this was hard enough pre-kids!) and that we will have really well-behaved kids, who are just perfect. In reality, our kids are perfect just as they are. They are the ones teaching us about ourselves and reminding us about what is important in this world as well as in the human psyche. They are learning from us and need our love when they are acting out, as this is how they know they are safe and become who they were born to be. Parenting is a constant internal battle on how to react to our children.
Here is a short story by Gary Rubin, San Diego Life Coach and Gym Owner who recently, sadly, passed away from terminal cancer. He was an inspiration to many.
“My interactions with my teenage daughter were once very stressful. This stress was not actually from her, but from my interpretations of her actions. I was judging her attitude as being rude and disrespectful. Then, I realized that I couldn’t change it, as I had been trying that for years, so I decided to change my interpretation. I know interpret her attitude as an outlet for the pain that comes with being a teenager. Instead of getting angry, I feel compassion. Consequently, instead of being out of control, I am very much in control. And an amazing thing resulted… her attitude got better. I learned that you cannot fight darkness by bringing in more darkness, only by bringing in the light. Being stressed only adds to darkness.”
Though TV Shows, Social Media and Mainstream Commercials might suggest otherwise, it is OK if your house is not clean enough, it is OK if you have some gooey stuff on your chin, and it is OK if your toddler just had a meltdown…this is what Mothering is all about and we the ladies, the Mothers should learn to enjoy it and get rid of any preconceived notions about it all.
Embrace it with open arms and a wide smile and see what works for you. It's exhausting, back-breaking work and the most important thing to learn is to accept HELP. Don’t try to be a do it all by yourself, Mom. By accepting a little help here and there you’ll be able to make more time for yourself and your kid(s).
And one more thing, if you feel like putting your feet up or having a glass of wine or hot tea after the little ones have gone to sleep… DO SO!! You have earned it. That serenity and peace after a chaotic day is total bliss so sit back and relax and ENJOY IT.
Motherhood means being selfless, being overwhelmed with love and emotion for your little ones but it also means living for yourself. It’s a huge part of who you are but it should not consume you. What I am trying to say is enjoy every step of it but learn to take a step back when needed. Only a Mother’s instinct can tell you when to do that. Don't let yourself be pulled down by anything or anybody, and enjoy.
Aimee Cruz is Mom to two boys ages 3 and 6 and Bosky Singh is Mom to one boy aged 4.