The Need for Female-to-Female Human Connection

written by, Ali Glinsky | Moms on Maternity New Parent Educator

I have never had a hard time making friends, but it takes work to meet and connect with people. As a New Mom moving across the state, starting over seemed daunting. I barely had time for my husband, between our work schedules and his work travel I felt like there was no time for anything else.

I was pregnant with my second when we moved to Northern California. I am from a neighboring town, but most of my friends from growing up had dispersed. Since I was working part time when we moved and I was 5 months pregnant, I found myself savoring the last solo summer with my first child. Time flew by, as it does, and once I got out of the new baby fog I looked up and there I was, seemingly alone and I realized I had put my own needs for female human connection, for other mom friends to the side, just to get through the days.

I realized how much I needed that connection and community. While it was always built-in in Los Angeles, I had to work for it up North. After spending countless hours on my phone during breastfeeding sessions, I went down an Instagram rabbit hole where I found a few Mom related accounts. Some about working moms, some just general mom stuff and I hit follow on a few that caught my eye. Those little squares and captions that started to pop up in my feed made me feel seen, heard and not alone. I love the daily reminder that we are all going through it with young kids and no one has it all figured out. There are also some hysterical moments right when you need them.

I knew I had to take my need for community seriously. I once read something that said ‘just start’ and I have come to live by this recently. Once you start something, you have no idea what can be set into motion and develop. I have seen it many times over in my own personal growth and development. Just start, take one tiny step in the direction you want to go in and it can lead to another and so on.

I joined a small baby group at my local community center with my second baby. Although the group only met twice per month, it allowed me to dip my toes into a community I was longing for without over committing myself. I slowly have become more involved. I have joined an advisory board and have met some great moms to connect and share with. I have learned, you have to know yourself and know what you need for YOU. If you start small it is easier. Start small, and don’t be afraid to try something new or different and to be a little uncomfortable.

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